Past can't be forgotten, to be honest.

If I am being frank here, I cringed every time I think about my primary school life or early secondary life. I was not the best type of person out there, heck I am still not one but it was much more worse back then. Yet, right now I notice, while I tend to ignore my past, I really can't move on from it.

Most of my previous classmates from my old school that I used to jealous of and talk to (usually better off right now), I tend to avoid contact. If I see them I do still say hi, because after all we were classmates once. But I noticed I tend to avoid following them on instagram or Twitter, just out of pure bitterness.

I am bitter, I will admit. I am bitter about many things and this is just one things out of it. If I come across an old friend's instagram, I end being very depressed about my own life. Why? Because they are doing so much better than me and I am in this constant loop that I can never escape.

It's fine, really. I am not blaming them for my own problem. I acknowledge that I have a problem and it is eating myself inside.

I really deep down wish them the best and I know my actions and my feelings may not seem that way. I want to wish them the best because I know I can be a bigger person than now. I know I can move on and I know I can be okay with it. I can be okay with myself.

It is just demons I need to conquer myself. And some how I wish my life would be one I am satisfy with and that I can grow and learn and be okay with who I am & achieve who I want to be.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." -George Bernard Shaw