Sleep-deprived.

School today was horrible. I found out something very hurtful and it kinda pisses me off too. Anyway, long story short, this immature asshole thought it would be fucking fun to create a club against me for no absolute reason. Yeah, maybe I shout too much but honestly I am trying not to anymore and to know what happen today hurts as hell. He even got one of my closest guy friend and one guy which I have never had a conversation at all to join. It's hurts, knowing someone stabs you in the back. What I really don't understand is that guy which I have never ever talk to before. I didn't offend him whatsoever, I didn't even talk to him nor did I scream at him so what the fuck is his fucking problem ?!

Most of my friends ask me to ignore that because for a 16 year olds guy to create this sort of shitty thing is fucking immature. It is fine to not act like your age sometimes, but using your childish antics to humiliate me, to make fun of me ? Is that how you want everyone to see you ? As this guy who will never act or think maturely ? Just thinking about him or looking at him makes me want to take a blunt knife and stab it through my trachea because his attitude absolutely disgusts me.

Honestly, what hurts the most about this is my friend who join his little kid club. This just disappoint me. This whole thing resulted me into thinking insecure thoughts again but Samantha kinda use her words of wisdom to help me feel better. This is just one of the days where everything is just overall screwing with me. I am so glad that my friends are there for me.

I am honestly trying my best to change into a better person, trying to break out of my tiny shell. Yet, how am I suppose to do so if people like that exist to make me feel worse about myself ? I guess that is just how society works.

Today's post will just mostly be rants. I don't even think anyone is reading this but it is nice to be able to write my feelings out somewhere. I didn't even get anything done because I am so depressed and sleep-deprived and just overall sick of life. I don't want to go school like really really don't want to but my parents won't let when I have no reason. Why can't I just get sick and not go to anywhere (school and tuitions) for just one full day ? My physic homework is staring at me but I am so sleepy and it is already 1.00 am so I will just go to sleep.

I was actually planning to write a more meaningful post today but I guess anger got over me. What happen today actually got me thinking so many things and overall made me feel guilty for being such a bitch to some people. So right now, honestly right from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry to those who I offended. (Not including those who deserve it, those people deserves it. ) I'm just sorry.

This is a very good short animation film. Check it out ! It left tears in my eyes.

I'll end here before I just bored you even more.